Talked recently with someone who was having trouble in a relationship. He had become frustrated trying to decide to stay in the relationship or get out. It didn’t seem to be a problem with the person; she had character, was giving healthy contributions, as they spent time with each other.
We can find answers if we ask ourselves some pointed questions when deciding if a person is best for us. One question to ask is, “does this person add value to my life? Or, are they draining me?” With this question, it gives us a picture of what’s going on in the here and now. It is healthy to move forward in life with people who surround us with good character, with life building stones adding to the foundation of our lives. And I want to ask, “Am I investing”? This scripture comes to mind, Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
After listening for about 20 minutes, a pattern appeared. He was going in circles, trying to decide to stay in or break-up. I found out he had called it off several times in the last months, already. As he told of his dilemma to his buddies, they threw in their advice, formulas coming from their experiences in their own relationships, I am sure!
By now, I had enough information, I said loudly, “STOP”, taking a chance, but my plan worked. He stopped, then I was able to point out that it sounded as though he was living in a Cul-de-sac. He had entered innocently and was now stuck as if riding a bike round and round, seeing nowhere to get out. Oh! once in a while someone would wander by or he would call out and someone would come over and give advice. He had heard it all, so why wasn’t it “fixing” his life? Well one answer is, we have to decide for ourselves, making our own choices, based on our life plan. That is why it is so important to have a Life Plan. It does take the first step to take a risk, maybe even getting hurt once in a while or falling off the “bike of life”. Life is about making choices and people sometimes are a part of them, along the way. This might sound too simple but it is true.
The Cul-de-sac has an entrance and an exit. It may feel scary to finally drive out the exit, but it’s where life happens and we will make it. Life’s an adventure! It’s made up of taking risk. If we make a mistake, so what! We might have to pay something for it, or even fall down but we can get up, brush ourselves off and get going. As we move forward, look out the windshield and not the rear view mirror, it is only for backing up. Life takes on new meaning with a clean slate, one you can add what we want on it! God has blessed us with a life unique to us. He gave us a life and the freedom of choice. However, this brings responsibility. Acting responsibly brings a healthy life and great relationships! Can’t wait for a progress report in two weeks…